i wish i knew what i always wanted.

2009-12-14T10:13:00.000-08:00

ranting ranting.

everything happens for a reason huh?
yeah.

then.. what the fuck was THAT for?

you thought keeping it away wouldnt hurt me.
it hurt me more.

echos.
my life is filled with echos. .
i speak to an empty room. . no one hears,
all my voices comeback to me eventually. although i keep repeating like echos.

2009-12-14T01:00:00.000-08:00

FUCKYOU.FUCKYOUYOU LIED.YOU LIED

sorry for everything.

2009-12-13T10:50:00.000-08:00

whats the point, if always, i roam around friends. jumping from friends, to friends. i never ever settle down like others before. can't i? its like. isit that difficult for me? or, is it that, i am not good enough to actually have a best friend?

i've really been thinking. for so many many many years, i have always been keeping things into myself. or at least now i can spill how i feel in facebook. but that doesnt meant that actually anyone cares.

all the ppl around me have their own whole to live,why. . why cant just ONE. one. try or at least put the effort to join my world. or i join his/hers.

i'm so sick and tired..
tired. .

i dunwanna have lots of friends if this was the senario.
no point. no point.
although its fun.
yeah definitely, fun when we're together, but the torture starts when everybody goes home. .

all i know is. .
i don't like it when i don't see a single notification on my phone when i look at it.
and apparently, that is how things really are.
its like.. .

i'm all alone.
i have friends.
lots of them.

but a best friend?
never. . . .
never. . . ..

do people actually care for me?
no. .
no particular person will ask how am i.

unless i post some depress post on fb.
its like.. .
i feel like i am asking for attention, so i don't really put up such things anymore.

yeah. . i'm mostly alone. .
when the night comes. . nobody will actually message me.

or maybe its just me.
coz, partially my night is like.. 12-3am.

so i think its kinda my fault. but, u catch my drift. and
all i can say is, i really like this blog,as, i definitely will have only
maybe, about 3 people reading this post.

wow.
i'm so touched.
yep, as u all can see.
i dun ask ppl to tag my blog, as in, so what if they tag?

wow so you're famous~~~
*inputs sarcacism* <--- or however u spell it.

anyways, i can rant like this forever.but at least. from national day onwards,
i learnt something very valuable.

slogan:

i payed attention to u,
i thought about everything.
i made sure that i didnt make mistakes.
i listened to you scoldings.
i sacrifice for you,
i went against my family for you.
i cried for you.
i took all your bullshit.
and in the end, I AM NOTHING TO YOU.

thanks.

you are really one cold blooded monster.
ok. i think my rant shall stop here.
before my blog scares everybody away.

haiiyo, i'm actually venting anger on the blog. sorry ah blog.
but in anycase, you had read what i have written on above, i thank you very much, and definitely you care about me, or. . maybe u just too kpo . LOLS!

fion : sorry sorry sorry once again.

chao out side~

hehe

2009-11-26T01:42:00.001-08:00

AND AWESOME DAYS ALWAYS END! :P oh well. i had fun :D

GRRRR.

2009-11-24T19:02:00.000-08:00

some ppl using my name to tag!! :( okok now i only reply tag in post. :D pris. REALLY WHAT. EVERYDAY SUCK LO! . no lahs. THIS FEW DAYS WAS AWESOME! :D :D :D

this week suck.

2009-11-13T05:05:00.000-08:00

this week suck. i dunlike life.

just reminising. .

so small stuff, so much memories..
i dun wan to end it. .

my day.

2009-11-07T07:23:00.000-08:00

TODAY, SUCKED, TO THE MAXIMUM CORE.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. z. z.
i hate today!!

firstly, coz i didnt do anything at shelter,
2. moi mum sorta disowned me.
3. rachel dun let me on van so i had to take 1.5 hr TRAIN RIDE.

KUKU RACHEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

then i went to boss for instruction, gonna start work on monday. FIGHTING!
HEHEx

then,...

moi cousin is in moi house now.
and his name ish salavation
aiya salmon lah
LOLS. ok his num is brandon. salvatore.

now he chasing me off the com seat. so i got to zhao liao
tata

:D

oh. a special picture.

2009-11-06T08:49:00.000-08:00

this is a picture i made for uncle wee and rachel wee.
guess what it says. :D
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEE :D

sup sup peepos. :P

2009-11-06T07:05:00.000-08:00

harrows everybodi. noticed that moi tag has been critized! O.O
well. honestly, i really liked one sentence 'passer' said, which is, hongster always die!

:D :D yay! i'm alive , thus i'm not a hongster. LOLS i'm awesome.
but honestly, i'm quite curious who the passer is. bt. i' don really have the time to think so much. LOLS.

okies. moving on.

now. i noticed that moi blog has no songs! :D
so. i need songs! :D awesome.

anyone has suggestions for songs? :D
please tag it up in the chatbox. :D thanks (i think there is only like..2 readers for moi blog) seriously. LOLS.

but anyways, time to spill my day out.

today, i had a extremely big misunderstanding which pissed alot of people off. SORRY! to all the people that has been affected, i'm sincerely sorry :P

people that i wanna apologise to :
my mama.
my papa.
my sis.
uncle wee
karen
jade
jasmine(for the phone bill ) ><

i've realise i didnt post up any pictures, well. i should upload one now! :D this.. LOOKS LIKE DANA BEING CHUATIO~! HAHAHA :D EPIC WIN.

this.. is dana crawl crawl
:D CUTE.

anyways. went to jas house to pick her up to shelter. went to her house, didnt know that dana will still bark at me , but she did. then dana raped me.
then jade called and there was a big misunderstanding, spoilt moi day completely. then i saw jas's sis. still as dao as ever. well, to jas sis : hope euu recover soon from ya injuries! :D

okies. then we bus-ed to umc building. got drenched. then uncle wee picked us up when we were all drenched. then jas was like.. WHY NOW THEN COME LOLS. then got lightning. we all scared kenna striked LOLS. okies. then left shelter to cathay!

i went there to buy moi first anklet in moi whole life!! :D how awesome is that?
i love is soo much :D
okies. then i mrt-ed home.
walked dakota, met up with angel and her fren named irish? or iris or iwirst. i dunno. not sure. then, they walked me home. and. thats about it. oh! went to mac too. so bored. .

and lastly, i wanna give a special thanks dedication to
KUKU RACHEL WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
for making this awesome blog.
i'm a blog-idiot btw.
and really thank euu so much, i deeply appreciate ya time spent on this blog.
and sorry to bother euu so much ><
maybe shouldnt call u kuku le. LOLS.
but its nice, so i still call euu kuku
but, short form, i call euu kuchel!<---- HOW KEWL IS THAT!

HAHAHAHHA.
fion, sorry for moi coldness to euu.
BUT I "M AWESOME!

WAD A DAY.

2009-11-05T04:08:00.000-08:00

harrows peepos.

:D got miss me? LOLS.

anyways, went to sch. then
met up with karen, took dettol from her! :D HAHAHAHAhA. *wait, that sounds really wrong* but anyways. it rained like nobody's business. was very touched when uncle wee initiated to fetch me. but th kuku rachel went to tell him i go by myself then win liao lo. such a nice feeling was over. == how pathetic. == so i got drenched even worse than ji tang. so i went to shelter soon after.
then saw until wee. rachel and adalia.
and noticed that the FUCKING BREEDER bred a new batch of huskies.
its cute, but euu'll never know the story behind it.
anyways, did the usual.
then went to the back. visit moi boyboy coddy. :D didnt really let him out. maybe i should bring moi camera to take pictures of him.

lucas was let out. and guess wad. HE DIDNT BITE ME. woohoo :D awesome!
but hor. that kuku rachel go and let out maniam. THEN SHE WALK BACK TO THE FRONT.

then , had to call the ah neh teach me how put back maniam. ==
abit rough, but very efficent. :D

so i was kinda angry with that kuku rachel. maybe , i should put her name in moi phone. " KUKU rachel weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :D " HAHA. omgs. i feel so bad. ><

and, so so sorry to everybody , moi phone died on me after i left uncle wee's van, which is very irritating , coz i was meeting up with valarie at e hub. how i wish rachel was there too lo == stupid phone died on me. then went on a wild goose chase looking for val and shiying. so dam tired, decided to give up and head home. which is also very bored.

reached home. have moi chiobu to smell all her friend's scent, jump on me. AND LICK MOI FACE :D HAHAHAHAHAHA i love dakota. <----nothing's gonna change that. :D haha

okies. then the beegeok put me on aeroplane . THANKS AH. ==

then i rmb need sent rachel twilight soundtracks, then rmb i wanna go touch up moi hair. not obvious enuff the colour. then. rmb i need to sing song OUT LOUD :D

HAHAHAHAHAHA i'm awesome.

and fion so so so so so so so so sorry. T.T i'm like. so bad. ps leiis.

and to all moi reader's out there, intro me a song at the tagbox section, it will be greatly appreciated.

tata ladies.

2009-11-04T04:34:00.000-08:00

see? i told euu, rachel, euu've found ya love one! :D got bf le worhs. congrats.

okies, moving on.

a heart full of regrets, will nvr move on.
my heart is filled with regrets and remorse.
can euu clear moi doubts?

please?

here are some qns i wish that euu'll answer me.

do euu have a guy that euu're interested in?
do euu talk to him everyday?
do euu like him?

if, all of de above is yes.
then, all i can say is..
stay away. from me.

okies. moving on.

blogging time!
went to the shelter, without moi camera. felt very empty without my camera.

its like. . i cant capture the pictures i see, the scenes i saw.
like i said. . you miss a shot, its gone for ever.

okies. after shelter, went to eat with uncle wee, florence and rachel :D
its like. uber funny. ni hao du ni hao du, ni hao du du du du du :D unfornately to euu guys, moi I.C iS AWESOME! and nothing's gonna change that :D

okies. then mrt-ed to srg, walked dakota. and , wrestled with her, unfornately, SHE PWNED ME. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG :D :D :D :D i have a strong chio bu!!!

okies.. then met up with moi first love! :D haha name's angel loy li xuan~~

LOLS. its like. i haven't seen her mama for ages.

sent dakota home with her, talked rubbish all the way.
then sent her back. ABIT WULIAO RIGHT?
==!! but. its kinda nice to have such an old friend talking to euu again.

yeah. when home. and i'm beat. :P

that's about it.

i'm planning to save money to buy a macbook. HOW? ><
(the above sentence is from the movie mission impossible)

LOLS. okies.

TATAs
all moi readers :D

sup sup. here to give dedications`

2009-11-03T06:36:00.001-08:00

first up, we have, FION. SUP SUP SUP!!
*okies, cheerup kkays? :D its sad to see euu sad. makes me sad.
so must smile huh? :D

jiayi
ps leii, the phoons thing. but, nvms. i also dunnowad to do about it.

rachel.
YOU ! cheer up kays? :D starbaby flew back to the stars! so no crying no more. :D
and, you'll find love soon? :D hahas. i promise.

adalia.
stop crying. i 'm lost when euu cry.

muzhu.
i wanna help euu so badly.. .. so so badly..

huimin.

I"M GOING THIS SUNDAY! WOOHOO! :D :D :D :D :D actually no sure lah.

time to bloggie!
todays, seriously no mood. just come shelter. puppy passed on.

haiish. liddat also no mood post. sian.

i zhao liao!
tata~

do i remind you.

2009-11-02T07:44:00.000-08:00

do i remind you of the pain?

protectiing yourself from somebody else?

its killing me.

why do u compare me to him?

i cant be .
i dunwanna pay for something i didnt do.

and, i have all rights to chase over things that i yearn for.

why must i do stuffs that tires me and be siad to be useless?

i cant find a reason to match that.
can someone enlighten me?

bullshit

2009-11-02T07:41:00.000-08:00

why.. why must u say that am i useless? i know its not my forte.

i tried my best to help. . and u said that i am useless?

why? is there appreciation in it?

why do u say that?

do you think its actually funny?
commenting about me?
even though its been long . .

it hurts. you get me?

2009-11-01T07:47:00.000-08:00

fuck it lahs.!!! i'm angry now. very angry.

sup.

2009-11-01T05:13:00.000-08:00

SUP SUP. peoples.! i went to church todae~~~~~!

how cool is that!?
actually not so, BUT!
something amazing happend todae.
i stand till moi leg cramp!!!

*lame lame lame!* lame, but true.
the si huimin. MAKE ME WAIT SO FUGGING LONG. NABEI.

so many hours spent waiting for her. ==!

anyways, i really wanna thank fion! SOOO MUCH.
fion, thanks for being there for me all de time~!
>< you caught me when i fell. dried my tears when i cried.

and to huimin . THANKS! for making me wait for u for 3 hours. imba. ==
but u maybe harsh, but true. :D thanks for making ur point.

thanks to kooky! kooky for being the only indian by moi side :D *EPIC* kooky is a dog btw.

and.. LOLS. i wanna thanks xiaobai , always smiling. :D

i zhao liao. tata.

:D

2009-10-29T08:25:00.000-07:00

this is..
rachel WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE hui en . LOLS!!!!!!
5star for epic-ness!

he's awesomely cute.. ididnt know i would be so close to him..

he barked at me when he first saw me. now, he licks my face :D and i can play the 'xiaobai's squat and turn' game! but only sumtimes.

alvin.

2009-10-29T08:17:00.000-07:00

oh come on. its all over. everything is over.

OVER. i've came to realise my blog is very emo. .

all i can say is, 1st-4th week. : :D i love you!
9th-10th week : i wanna meet euu so badly..
11th week: hi.

two dogs passed away.. nooo!!!!!!!!! i'll be missing u dooby, daring.

i wan to change moi life!
I'm LOVE DRUNK. is there a girl out the that appreciates me?

2009-09-06T20:07:00.000-07:00

is my life filled with misunderstandings?
i wonder..

i've lost many friends thro this word.
'misunderstanding'

and i don't think it will , or can, or is possible , to clear the mess up.

i never felt so down in my life before,
you SHOWED ME THE TRUE MEANING OF PAIN.

2009-07-15T04:38:00.001-07:00

was.. 'that name' mine?

2009-07-08T07:42:00.000-07:00

i'm here to blog again. hahas. sorry for my hardcore readers. (although i know that i dont have any) but anyways, :P i'm here to blog again.

i dunno leis.. i'm just speechless.
nowadays, i have totally no aim at all..
all i want to do is just swim, and forget about everything.

2009-06-29T04:46:00.000-07:00

i'mma uselessman~~
woots~! uselessman~~~
YEAH~~! uselessman~~~~

as quoted from some people.

so typically, i use-less electricity.
i use-less water.
i use-less money.

omqs. i seriously lame. :P
but i'mma afraid thats what that keeps me alive!

my phrases in life.
trick me once, shame on you.
trick me twice, shame on me.
trick me trice, you hacking right?

yes, people are meant to be greedy.
but let me tell you.
it is the greed that tells us not to give up.

2009-06-27T12:03:00.000-07:00

i've realise. i'm been acting like a jealous child lately.
and my mum told me some words of wisdom.

most of the things i crave in life,
are the things that my nearby friends or family has.
its not what i really want.

and i've really let down a few of my best friend.
but,
i don't expect you guys to forgive me either.

and, i'm still gonna dedicated part of my time to maple.
so for people who have been working their ass off to call me out,
i'm sincerely very sorry.

i'll go out with you guys soon kays?

remorsed soul.
falls in love.

2009-06-22T14:03:00.000-07:00

hahas.

dun feel too good right now.
its 5am.
>< tired!

haha
i dun even know who i like.
hahas!

aint that cool?

the freedom of choosing the person u like is fantastic :D

2009-06-16T03:21:00.001-07:00

today, its like... ok lah.
but i don't really like today.
bcoz .. erm..

its all about the post luhs.
as in, the major's post.
honestly, if getting a post is about bootlicking,
i will never get a post.

2009-06-15T09:11:00.001-07:00

today! was fun. and yeah. just plainly fun :D

Finally.

2009-06-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

okies. finally my blog is done.

finally. FINALLY MAN. this skin rocks.
and btw, if u read the poem on the welcome page.
it was'nt written by me, its just that i am too lazy to take it off,
later i screw something up.
okies. moving on.

i feel sad,
honestly.
i'm with the PHOONS. but why WHY.

i don't know how i feel,
i am messing up almost everything although i always thought that things would work out,
but i guess, its my thought that kills me after all.

and , i can't stop you for doing what ever you wanna do, so i guess,
the best thing i could do is to back out.
thus, the ring is in your laptop bag.
(and please, if you know this post is not for you, dont be a moron and go and check your laptop bag then be angry with me)
anyway. i've decided to give up on some stuffs.
personal stuffs, don't worry .
i'm not gonna give up on life. or being a drummajor.

just that, i don't feel at ease now a days.
( if you think this post is wasting your time, you can leave, coz i'm gonna continue to talk crap)
but yeah.

i have no sense of belonging now.
its..
okies. the weather is really very sour nowadays, as in,
i have been eating loads and loads of sour grapes you know!?

i'm just a jealous child . i'll admit it.
but there's nothing i can do about it.

so what if he can give you 70m?
so what?
you don't even need that much for christ sake! (sorry god)

but seriously .
i really can't pei you,
but he can,
so. i can only eat sour grapes.
ah well, at least it gives vitamin C

which i have no idea what functions it has.

i'm gonna rant all my troubles in this post.
oh yeah. and the following is for sally.

erm. okies. i'm sorry for stressing you out.
but, i don't really know why you demand an explaination on why i never pick up your call,
firstly, i'm not ur boyfriend, and secondly, i'm ugly.
so.. please don't scold my when i don't pick up your calls can?
its like, damn no link.

and i really miss a special type of pillow.

haiiyo!

rant rant rant. woots.
maple is also stressing me out urgh! its like,
i don't know why but,
i can't find out the reason.

and , i'm to unstable to have a stable relationship.
i'm not a flirt ( dam no link )
and yeah, i miss the phoons. haiish.

so. i'm pretty off topic already, so. i'm gonna go and scarlion in maple ler.
visit my guildblog for tracking me down in maple.

www.tomodachi-family.blogspot.com

signing off!
byes.

Do i love you?

2009-06-14T08:56:00.001-07:00

i don't know.